Tourism
by helga3
Summary: Snippets from Yuuko and Watanuki's great tour of the UK. Crossover central, yo.


**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**Notes:** Each section is exactly 100 words, according to my (unreliable) word processor.

* * *

"Watanuki," Yuuko said, a calculating look on her face. "You study English at school, right?"

"Yes," Watanuki said, eyeing her suspiciously. The look was one he was had learned to be wary of. Of course, so were most her looks.

"Are you any good at it?"

"I do well enough, I suppose," Watanuki said. It was best to not say anything too definite while he was unsure of what, exactly, she was getting at.

"Good! You'll be needing it. Because we're going on a tour!"

"A tour! A tour!" Maru and Moro cheered.

"_God save our gracious Queen,_" Mokona sang.

* * *

**Tourism**

**or,**

**Rule, Britannia!**

**or,**

**Yuuko knows everyone, **_**and**_** their mother**

**

* * *

**

All the odd trinkets that lay about the room didn't disturb Watanuki. He was used to Yuuko's shop, after all. What was more difficult to digest was that one of the portraits on the wall had just spoken.

"My good old friend Albus Dumbledore," Yuuko explained. "Currently a portrait on account of his death a few years back."

"Welcome to Hogwarts, Kimihiro Watanuki," the portrait said. "I've heard so much about you. Wonderful to finally meet you."

"You... too," Watanuki said. It could be forgiven that this came out more as a question than a statement this time, he decided.

* * *

"Clow Reed? I remember him from when he was my student," one of the portraits said. "He certainly was... _interesting_, that one."

"I could think of better words for him," another portrait interrupted, sounding clearly agitated. "Smug, arrogant, self-satisfied creep are just some of them. Don't talk to me about Clow Reed!"

"If you weren't dead and a portrait, Phineas, I'd invite you for a free drink," Yuuko said approvingly, ignoring Watanuki's incredulous snort at the last part.

Dumbledore chuckled. "I do still miss him too," he said, clearly amused.

Yuuko and Phineas ignored him with a supreme, studied nonchalance.

* * *

"Ah!" Yuuko said, "I hoped I might run into you while I'm here."

"Knew we'd be in this dimension today, you mean," the man said.

Yuuko smiled.

"Sophie dear," he continued to the woman beside him, "you remember the Witch of the Waste, right? Well, _this_ is the Witch of _Dimensions_."

"In other words, you're telling me to carefully avoid getting on her bad side," Sophie said.

"Exactly! Slither, avoid, flatter, suck up, do whatever you need to avoid it."

Sophie snorted.

"_Or_ she could just act normal while _you_ do that, Howell," Yuuko suggested mildly.

"Or that," Howell agreed cheerfully.

* * *

Watanuki could not stop staring at the door. It was almost as if it was calling to him. He took a step towards it. And then another.

Then, there was a hand on his shoulder. Watanuki snapped back to reality, and turned around to see Yuuko shake her head. "Behind there is London Below," she said. "It's an... _interesting_ place, to be sure. But not in our plans for this trip."

Watanuki glanced back at the door, thinking of the kind of things Yuuko might call interesting.

"We'll go next time instead!" Mokona declared cheerfully from Yuuko's shoulder.

Watanuki shuddered.

* * *

While Yuuko was chatting to the bookshop's owner, Watanuki took the opportunity to look around. The owner kept a watchful eye on him the entire time, apparently making sure no harm was done to his books.

The more he saw, the more Watanuki's soul started to hurt. When finally he couldn't take it anymore, he turned and bowed deeply in the owner's direction. "Mr Aziraphale!" he said. "Your shop makes Yuuko's look neat! Please allow me to clean it and organize your collection for you!"

Aziraphale stared.

Yuuko burst into hysterical laughter.

"Mokona doubts it," Mokona declared from Watanuki's shoulder.

* * *

The cat-like creature eyed them suspiciously.

"Spinel Sun," Yuuko said. "Why are you here?"

"I was going to ask you that," Spinel answered. "And how do you know who I am?"

"So not here with _that guy,_" Yuuko mused. "Perhaps, then, you are here because you have a wish."

"Hey, that works outside outside the shop too?" Watanuki said, but no one was paying attention to him.

"A wish." Spinel's eyes widened. "Then you are..."

Yuuko grinned.

Their eyes locked for a moment before Spinel looked away. "If we, hypothetically, for a moment, suppose that I do..."

Yuuko's grin widened.

* * *

Watanuki couldn't put his finger on what it was about the old, grey-haired woman. Outwardly, she seemed as common an old lady as ever there was. But there was something about her, some intangible air, something so stately and regal and respect-inducing Watanuki felt like he was in the presence of some great queen going about her business incognito. Instinctively, his bow when they met had been deeper and longer than usual, and now he kept stammering and second-guessing himself, unsure of how to address her.

"Please," the old woman said, the look on her face distantly wistful. "Just Susan."

* * *

"_'Rumor has it,'_" Watanuki read, "_'that the Witch of Dimensions is currently in the UK for an extended vacation, accompanied by her apprentice.'_ Apprentice? _'The Witch of Dimensions, as we all know, is famed for her exceptional capability as a witch, where her talents are not limited to the dimensional magic she is most known for, as well as for her extraordinary beauty.'_"

"I always did like The Quibbler," Yuuko said approvingly.

"_'Also well known,'_" Watanuki went on, "_'is the stormy affair and epic break-up with equally famed magician-'_"

"Give me that!" Yuuko snapped, snatching the magazine from Watanuki.


End file.
